And don’t speak too soon
For the wheel’s still in spin
And there’s no tellin’ who
That it’s namin’
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin’.
How do you react to change? Do you fear it a bit, and view it as an enemy to a life you love? Do you embrace it as a welcomed friend into your midst? Do you externally support it but internally cringe at the idea?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how drastically my life has changed in the past year. Physical changes are the obvious, but more significant have been the internal. I believe it’s been these changes that have supported and maintained habits.
Like I stated last time, my natural reaction to life is to take it with a side of neuroticism. I have a dear friend from work who is an avid reader of my blog, and he may be shocked by this revelation. I don’t believe that it is a neurotic personality that comes across when I’m at the office, but controlling that personality trait has been quite the learning process for me. I swear this will tie into fitness. Really guys, just give me a sec…
As a high school and college student, I never struggled with academics. A major blessing has been parents who have supported and pushed me to be the best I can be. Some credit, however, must be given to my need to constantly be the best and on top. Call it middle child syndrome, but I’ve always felt an internal pull to outpace those around me.
This hasn’t been a bad thing, but the underlying issue has been a struggle, and I think learned to use this has helped with a breakthrough when it came to my physical changes (you know, getting off the couch and DOING something with myself). I have an almost maniacal need to stand out. I desperately strive toward finding meaning for my actions and craving my life to be remembered.
I don’t mean this in an I-would-love-to-be-a-celebrity-look-how-awesome-I-am way, but rather an I’m-on-this-planet-for-a-reason-and-I’ll-be-damned-if-I let-that-go-to-waste way. Have you ever just looked around and thought that you, personally, were meant to impact someone or something in a big way? I genuinely wake up feeling like that most days. I know it’s weird, but it gives an exciting spice to life.
Having this feeling of responsibility has had a tendency to make me a little too eager to go with my gut. Realizing that I wasn’t the one who had all the answers happened at the beginning of my year of volunteering with the organization at which I am currently employed. My mentor and current boss has gently, and with a side of humor, kept my ever-zealous self in check.
Ok now the fitness part. The taking charge of other aspects of my life part. That day I talked about, you know when I was in the dressing room at The Limited and had a minor freak out? I came to the conclusion that there was no way I could be an encouragement to anyone when my own opinion of myself had reached an all-time low.
That has been the big secret all along to unlocking my ability to change who I was. Use your own strengths and neuroticisms, as nuts as they seem, to support that person you want to be. You’re not going to have the same outlook as I do because you’re coming at life from a fresh, different perspective. Embrace that part of you that you may even consider a negative aspect of your life because it is a part of you. And I bet you’re pretty great.