Are You Kidding Me?

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You know what the biggest weight loss lie is out there on the interwebs/in gym world? Timestamp fitness promises.  You see that girl up there? I’m not going to look like her in 10 weeks or even 10 years.  That’s not a negative thing, that’s a my-body-isn’t-built-with-her-proportions thing.

I can’t even believe how many sites there are dedicated to 30 Days to Shakira’s Striptastic Bod, or Michelle Obama’s Arms in Seven Days.  The only way that’s happening is if you take a weeklong Photoshop intensive.  Plastic surgery wouldn’t even heal that quickly.

So why am I bashing scheduled plans? Aren’t goals a good thing?  Yay! Yes, you’ve been listening! Goals are fantastic and are the best way I’ve found to track how I’m doing.  The problem lies with unrealistic goals.  Setting yourself up for disappointment will make you lose confidence in yourself and forget everything you’ve already achieved. Don’t do that—you’re much too awesome to lose faith in yourself.

A while back, I committed to doing the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred program. Each morning I would wake up dedicated to my Level 1, 2, and 3 workouts. Guess what happened after 30 days??? I didn’t look like Jillian Michaels.

For the record, I think that’s a really fun workout. Results were definitely noted, but were overshadowed by my disappointment that this getting in shape thing is not a one-month process. Or two-month process.  Hell, it’s been a couple years now and I’m still reaching for more goals.

My point is, getting fit isn’t an event you can mark in your iPhone after a certain number of days have passed.  It’s an every day lifestyle decision. Those workouts will absolutely begin to strengthening your muscles and upping your endurance.  You’ll even notice definite progress, but please don’t get the idea you’re going to look like a Victoria’s Secret model in a month. You don’t even want to be a Victoria’s Secret model…no one likes juice that much.

My intent isn’t to crush your dreams, but to empower you by sharing that every decision you make gets you a whole extra step closer to your goals. I’m a get it done now kind of gal, so this foreign concept of patience was about as easy to digest as a muffin made from shredded phone books. Actually, was recently evaluated at a recent Mary Kay meeting, and that was one of the big markers of my personality. I like my actions to produce results and I like those results to happen before everyone else’s.

There is hope for you all who share that with me! Your ability to push yourself is out of control awesome. But just keep those goals realistic for your fabulous work ethic. The fun part about it is that you’ll start looking in the mirror and think, “Whoa. Is that a muscle right there? I didn’t even know muscles grew right there.  When did this happen?”

Cheers!

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It’s Fine By Me If You Never Leave

reality

My relationship with exercise has always had a remarkably similar storyline to my relationship with men. It all begins with one great day.

You know the day I’m talking about.  It ‘s one of those days that leaves you going to bed smiling and giddy at the promise tomorrow holds… so giddy that you can’t even sleep because you’re too excited and your mind is making a plan for what that week will hold. For guys, it was an upcoming steamy night. For exercise, it was the bikini I was going to get for this summer. Surprisingly similar outfits were attached to both visions.

Morning would come, and I would spring out of bed singing.  The sun is shining, coffee is brewing and I’m ready to meet each challenge that heads my way with the poise of Grace Kelly and dynamic influence of the Iron Lady, may she rest in peace. This manic, likely unhealthy state of sheer optimism and fortitude lasts for weeks on end. Ok, typically about three or four.

Reality would inevitably have a way of rearing its ugly head. I just don’t feel like going to my group class.  The gym is too packed for me to go. My arms are sore. I had to work late. The guy I’ve been seeing started talking about his car more than is necessary, unless he’s at the Ford Dealer. I found someone cuter. This guy is sweet, brilliant, and interesting… buuuut this guy has season UK Basketball tickets. Deuces. (People still say that. Yeah they do.)

Rinse and Repeat 

This cycle was my life from age 16-22. I don’t think there was the slightest problem with the guy side of it. Prior to age 22, there is no way I had the attention span to be in a real relationship, not to mention zero desire to do so. The exercise thing is where the problem resided.

However, it wasn’t until I met the love of my life that I realized I had commitment issues. My friends are probably laughing at this, because I couldn’t even commit to a hair color until about six months ago (light brown, shockingly my natural hair color in case you’re curious). I think I’ve just been born with a restless spirit.

When I ran across this quote while I was perusing an educational literary magazine, I thought it was a beautiful way to state a lesson with which I struggle. Oh, and it was definitely on Pinterest, but educational literary magazine sounds way better, right?

Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.

Through tough times, it is essential for me to remember why I started something in the first place. I want a stronger, healthier body to enjoy my life. Without exercise, my stress levels skyrocket. I have crazy high energy, and day-um can I wear some jeans now.

When M is really pissing me off (which is rare! Love you), I strive to keep in mind all the good times we have had, and my excitement for our future helps me when I’m convinced for a fleeting moment that I should be single again…after a good boxing class of course, because I am not that rational in the heat of the moment.  Then I remember I’m crazy about that guy, and common sense wins.  I’m still a work in progress, but hey—my favorite part of life is achieving what I’ve set out to do.  And wine.

Cheers!